I love the Eternal; for not only does He hear my voice, my pleas for mercy, But He leaned down when I was in trouble and brought His ear close to me. So as long as I have breath, I will call on Him. Once I was wound in the wrappings of death; the terror of dying and the grave had a grip on me; I could not get away, for I was entombed in distress and sorrow. Then I called on the name of the Eternal…Psalm 116:4
Anxiety wields power. It rarely has form, shape, or color; yet it’s structure seems taller and wider than the largest mountain. It’s shadow has covered me. It kept me from moving forward into the places and spaces God has called me to be. It silenced my voice and kept me in the grave…too many times.
You have circled this mountain long enough. Now turn north… Deuteronomy 2:3 NASB
There has always been a choice. Dwell in foothill encampments, dredge myself around the base of impossibility, fall down in defeat as the magnetic shards of insecurity suck me closer and closer to the core. Or turn north.
North is unknown. And scary. We have no idea what lies ahead. But we can go anyways.
And what if I told you no matter where you turn, another mountain will appear? When it comes to anxiety, it will. We may walk away from one moment of paralyzing angst and insecurity only to run smack into another. It happens over and over again. There are mountains everywhere.
God, You alone rescued my soul from the grips of death, my eyes from weeping, and my feet from slipping. I will come before the Eternal as long as I journey in the land of the living. Psalm 116:8-9
But we walk anyways. Knowing if we wait for the anxiety inducing mountain range to move, it likely never will. Because God doesn’t do it that way. He walks us through the wilderness, and rarely obliterates it for our comfort.
The mountains do their things with me. Anxiety manifests in my mind and body in so many ways, and likely always will. But I will go north because there is nothing of value to be found hiding or even standing still.
Anxiety is powerful. But God is greater. I have yet to encounter a room full of people, a confrontation, a platform I am expected to speak on, or a life God has asked me to invest in that has killed me. It’s always made me stronger. God always wins. And I have always been left gasping on the wings of His greatness.
He will do the same for you. Over and over again. He wins.