So there’s this way of doing therapy with sexually abused children that is so fantastic. It’s called TFCBT. I love it so much because it works. It contains very specific components which are super helpful and research driven…but if you set all that aside, there is this thing I see as the most important. Therapy, whatever kind of therapy it is, offers a conduit for connection…
Why do the kids therapists see love to come back? It’s not because we doing anything magical…it’s because they know there is an open door…
Not only an open door to the things people are comfortable talking about, but an open door to the very most horrific moment in their entire life. We give them the permission they need, and a tool belt filled with skills, so they can walk through that awful moment over and over again, and realize that they are in fact – okay.
Sometimes people ask me, does it make it worse? Does talking about it make it worse? And I get why they ask. Because I too thought it would make it worse. I chose to tuck that awful moment away in the dark recesses of my brain for years out of fear that if anyone saw it – surely they would reject me the same way I rejected that part of myself. But that’s exactly why it NEEDS to be talked about. There is power in visiting one’s most painful place with someone by your side that says I see it, and you my dear are not ugly. In fact you are beautiful..1,000 times over beautiful.
And I wonder if that’s how it works in our relationship with Jesus? We have these deep dark places that we try to conceal from Him. Like Adam and Eve in the garden, we cover our broken shame filled spots with fig leaves and hide. We smother the darks spots over and over again afraid that if we open them up, it will make it worse. But sweet sister, Jesus didn’t come to rescue our happy places. He came for the broken, bruised, and abandoned feeling mess of a girl that feels she could never possibly be loved by the King of Kings. And He says: Here I am. Here is the open door. I’ll walk through this with you. And in the process you will know that you have always been okay.
He gives us the tools in His Word and the path through His unending faithfulness and forgiveness. With Him we have not failed. We can come to Him over and over again because He never gets frustrated or tired no matter how long the process takes. He the conduit of our connection to the God who formed us in our mothers womb and knows each and every fiber of our being. We are perfected, adopted, love giving, life living children born of and saved by Grace. We don’t have to do more, be more, have more, or live better to receive what He has already given to us. The price was paid in advance.
So that icky, awful, terrible feeling thing? I know it’s scary to uncover and you worry about disturbing the dust bunnies that live in that old musty closet. Talking about it can feel almost threatening…but God has given you an open door. And He has far more tools than I or any human on this earth could ever offer. He is willing and able to walk through it with you. He already knows it’s there, so let it loose because you deserve so much more than to bear this burden alone.